Today was a staff development day for their teachers,so my boys did not have school. We hung out in the morning and went out for a bite to eat at lunchtime. A couple of things happened today. I took a shower and got dressed in my running clothes: tights. a long sleeve shirt and a down vest. The reason I am sharing this with you is that in the past I would NEVER go out dressed in tight anything. As I have shared before, I am not Twiggy. In the past, I have been self conscious that I was never a Skinny Minnie. I have learned to accept and enjoy my womanly curves. Do I have a choice? I guess I do, but it requires not being accepting of who I am. I have spent years trying to honor myself.
It has taken me 48 plus years to realize that people don't spend much time thinking if I have big thighs (they are not huge!) and if they are...I don't know about it. This has been liberating for me. Why do I have to spend my time worrying about how others think and perceive me? Am I that self obsessed to think that I am the topic of friends and strangers conversations? Not anymore! The older I get, the more secure I am with who I am. Take me or leave me. I must say that I love getting older. I love the freedom it has given me.
Why listen to Wolfie? Because I get it. All was going perfectly smooth at lunch today. My two girlfriends and their daughters were sitting at one table and my three boys plus their two boys were at another table. WE were talking about "stuff" when one of the their boys came up to me rather sheepishly and said, "You know when I was at your house this morning? Well, I kind of broke your son's glasses.I did not pass go when I turned to my son and said, "I told you to be careful and not monkey around when you are wearing your glasses. They are fragile." To be totally honest, I don't even know what his response was because I went into a i can't believe this happened again blackout out. Before I would say something that I would regret, I calmly yet firmly said, "Please walk away from me." My other kids were hovering around me as well as the other kids. I made sure to let the boy know that I was not upset with him, "Don't worry about it sweetie, is not your fault. accidents happen." The reality about this situation is, it was an accident. The thing I have to admit to myself is that I do not understand the nature of boys and their need to wrestle and be physical. Bonding for me is lunching with my friends, getting mani and pedi's and sharing our feelings. The burping, farting and one upmanship is something I can't grasp. Do I have to ever grasp it? I don't think so, but I have to know it exists big time in my household. I can either get into the thick and rant and rave to "STOP IT" or I can walk away. It's so much easier to get into it!!! Breathe in and breathe out.
Mantra for today: Step away from your mama.
All will be one with our household.
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,