Friday, October 23, 2009
Day Forty-Five..Finding Humor
Is there humor in cancer? After the initial shock of being diagnosed with the "Big C" I had to find things to laugh about. It made the scary possible for me. My friend is in the throws of her cancer treatment. I have to say she is a warrior among warriors. She is positive, strong when she needs to be, accepting of the fear that comes along with cancer, she lets it go just as easily as the acceptance, and her sense of humor rocks.
I took her for radiation today. On our way over there we talked about what it feels like to be on chemo. (she is taking a chemo pill ). She asked me what I ate to alleviate nausea and the lack of wanting to eat.. Boy did I eat carbs.! I couldn't get enough. My friend made the best sticky white rice that I had ever tasted. She would make me individual servings that I would pop into the microwave. It was perfect. I also fell in love with Red Robin's french fries. They are big and thick (steak fries). The best part about those fries is that they are all that you can eat! My kids were, 3, 4, 4, and 9 (when I was going through treatment). I would say to them, "Lets go to Red Robin". At first they were totally into it. How bad can french fries and milkshakes be? They got tired of going there, so I ended up going alone. My friend and I giggled over that one.
She is going to UCLA for treatment. That's a big place. She maneuvered her way around there likes she owned the place. We went to see her oncologist first. What a nice, loving and smart man. She is in good hands. One thing that I shared with her (when first diagnosed) that is so true of anything relating to health is that we all have to be our own advocates (or our children's ,spouse elder parents, or anyone close to us). She spoke up and asked questions when she needed too and listened when she needed to.
W went down to the dungeon for her radiation. There was no sign up sheet. Only a camera that let them know you are there. "Wave to the Camera", I said. We laughed as we both did it. We both waved goodbye as we left. On the way home we talked less about cancer and more about very important things...Chanel purses, our kids, friendship and more about Chanel!!
Being with her today, brought me right back to my treatment. Tears were welled up in my eyes the entire time we were at UCLA. She asked me if it was too hard to be with her there. "There's no other place that I would rather be". During her treatment time I want to bring her friendship, understanding, an opinion when asked and most of all humor. Where would we be without humor?
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. If you have ever gone through anything that is devastating i.e. a break-up, a divorce, a miscarriage, cancer, menopause then you most certainly have had some one give you the: Are you okay, I am not sure you know that I know so I am uncomfortable stare. It is very awkward. Do they know? Should I say something? I would feel like I had to say something so we could just move on. Every one out of four people would say some ass nine thing: "My mom's friend had breast cancer and she was okay and then got it back again and she is fine now". Are you "F"ing kidding me? She got it back? "My friend's friend is going through it now and she is really having a hard time...I know you will be different because you are so strong". How do you know how strong I am? I want to snap my fingers and wish this away. The best one was when someone came to drop us off a meal after my first surgery (which was a lovely gesture). "My aunt had breast cancer". I stopped this person in mid sentence, "Is it a good story"? Without a beat she said, "Oh yes, she had breast cancer but she died a few years ago". "Can you please stop"(my anxiety was starting to build). "Oh don't worry Wolffie, she died happy". Can you believe that one? Thanks for bringing the chicken.
Moral of the story? Laugh through the stupid comments. It's better than the alternative.
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,