Day Twenty-Two..Instant Gratification

Hi.

I am going out on a limb here to admit something about me. I totally blow at math. One of my boys came to be today with a math question. I began to sweat.. I suggested they go in the back of the book to the glossary and find out what they needed. I came off as a "smart" mom, cuz the answer was in there!!!Oh yeah!!!! My kids often come to me for help and I have no clue how to help them. Where was I during math class? Could it be that whenever math came around in elementary school I went to the nurses office because of a "stomach ache"?` From that point on ,I psyched myself out that I was "dumb" in math. This put a damper on my life. I could never balance a checkbook..so I just would wing it and hope that when the statement came in, I was not overdrawn. The bank that my parents used enabled me to not deal with my balance because they always covered the checks with no worry of fines.

Should I speak about my early days of credit card use? My motto was.. buy now..worry later. My husband married me with my debt. I would love to say that it stopped right away with my beautiful premise of buy now.. worry later. It did not!!! I am a work in progress. I do pay heed to buy what we can afford. When I get the "pull " (otherwise know as obsession) to buy something i "want" rather than "need", I don't buy it right away. I think about it and usually the "want " goes away and I do not buy it!!

I miss instant gratification. I miss the feeling I get when I know I shouldn't do something. I miss the high I feel after I hunt something down and purchase it. I often return the item as it is more about the "hunt" than the item! It doesn't have to be about clothes or accessories. Lets talk about food!!! Okay, today I am spilling the beans. I used to be obsessed with M&M's, Hershey's Kisses, Coffee Bean's Ice Blended Sugar free Mocha, and Frozen Yogurt. I would plan my day around eating the stuff. When the Coffee Bean was only in Sherman Oaks and Malibu, I would drag my daughter to either place on the guise of errands.Who was I kidding? Not my five year old daughter? (did I mention that we lived 15 minutes from each of The Bean's locations?) "Mommy why do we always have do do stuff here". How do I answer that? "Well sweetie, your mother is insane if she doesn't get her blended drink" Didn't say that. "Mommy just has things she has do here". She didn't buy it. "You like those drinks, right Mommy"? "Yep". End of story.

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. When I was pregnant with my twins and my youngest son, I CRAVED frozen yogurt. I HAD TO HAVE IT Every night, sometimes twice a day It didn't matter if it was in the summer or winter. It was a must have. I rationalized that it wasn't fattening like ice-cream. It would have been great if I stopped at just the fro yo ( my pet name). I had to have toppings... almonds and carob chips. Healthy..right? High in calories. To me, it was a healthy comfort food. Needless to say that my thighs, arms, face and butt enjoyed my healthy snack. I put on a lot of weight. At the time it was worth every bite..until the babies popped out and I had no stomach to hide the multitude of sins I had. OMG!!!!!

I still like my fro yo. I like it at the end of the day, in my bed, watching TV. It's my relaxing part of the day. Probably still a comfort food. I have nixed the carob chips and almonds. I don't have to have it every night (I am down to 3-5 nights a week) Call this justification..I honor this part of me. It's great to see me as I am. I laugh at me too..my kids do too. They know that I don't share and sometimes they ask me for a bite just to get a rise out of me!!. I know "sharing is caring"..but I just can't do it with my fro yo Maybe one day, but I doubt it!!!

Can you relate?

More will be revealed. Please come back for more.

Signing off until we meet again.

In Love and Peace,

Wolffie