Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Day Fourteen..Feeling Gratitude


Today was mammogram day. It is not my favorite day. I have this underlying fear that permeates my psyche. So, I am armed with a wall when I walk into the office. My name gets called and I have to sign over my life so they aren't liable for anything. Then they ask if I have signed a power of attorney (for a mammogram?). I have to pay money even though they are a insurance provider. Don't get me started about insurance companies!!! STRESSFUL.

After about what seems to be hours of waiting (probably about 15 minutes ), my name get is called. I think there is something in my chart that says "lunatic on the loose" because I am treated with kid gloves. It wasn't always like that until I pitched a fit after one of my visits. Going into that office is scary for anyone. Nobody likes to get a mammogram. After having breast cancer, my range of anxiety heightened dramatically. Pictures were taken and then the waiting begins to see if I am clear so I can see my surgeon . My friend Jill came with me and we waited together. I am eternally grateful that Jill came with me. After a few minutes of talking about nothing, I got to go the surgeon's side of the office..

The new nursing staff has to really brush up on their compassionate skills. After my blood pressure was taken (still have one), I was escorted to a room which I can't go into. It was the room where I found out I had breast cancer. Just don't want to revisit that room. I politely asked if I could be in another room and as she rolled her eyes, I was escorted to another room. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!

To add to the nervousness, my doctor came in and said they found something on the mammogram and needed more pictures. My heart sank to my knees. A knock on the door came. She left the room. She came back. She profusely apologized and said that it wasn't my boobs that needed more pictures (she didn't say boobs!!) . I WANTED TO HUG HER!!! My exam went well. See you in 6 months. I'll take it. I am grateful that all is well. Another year cancer free!!!( 9 years in this November)

We high tailed it out of there. Went for a birthday lunch in Malibu. I was at one with my surroundings. This cancer thing really messes with me. I can go to fear and gratitude in an instant. I don't know how to be any other way.

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I used to take my kids to a great pediatrician. He was kind and gentle. Sometimes I would have problems getting in to see him. The front desk wasn't always accommodating, so I would have to see another doctor in the practice. I never minded if it was an ear infection or something minor. A few times when I asked to specifically see him they flat out said no. I spoke with the doctor and he was horrified. He said he would talk to the front desk. One day I called when my child had a 104 fever, purple lips and was shivering. It was about 4:45 and the front desk said I couldn't see my doctor, I would have to see someone else. Don't mess around with mama bear! I told her "I am getting in my car, coming down to your office, and if I don't see my doctor then I will take my four kids and go elsewhere". I saw our doctor that day.

Not long after, I called first thing in the morning to say I needed to get my child in because I thought he had an ear infection. She must of asked me at least 4 times, "Are you sure he is sick" Every time I answered yes. She reluctantly gave me a 3:00 appointment. I called another office that my friend went to. They said, "can you come in now"?.. I cancelled my 3:00 appointment. Was at the new office in minutes. He had an ear infection. Call it mother's intuition I love the practice. The kids do too.

Moral of the story: Be compassionate and don't f**k with "THE MAMA".

Can you relate?

More will be revealed. Please come back for more.

Signing off until we meet again.

In Love and Peace,



  1. I'm glad to know you're mammogram went well, i love you and you are right DONT MESS WITH THE MAMA. cant wait to read more.. xoxox

  2. Nice post - mammogram pictures ..Keep Posting

    mammogram pictures