Thursday, November 12, 2009

Day Fifty-Seven..Inspiration Lets Us Be Who We Yearn To Be


I went to see the afternoon matinee of Coco Before Chanel today. What an inspiration. It's was amazing to see how she lived her life and what life experiences helped carve her into being the designer she was. I loved so much about the movie. The costumes, the actors, and the landscapes. OMG. I wanted to jump into the movie screen. I could have lived in France in those times. I would have been a rebel just like Coco. The way she wore black and dressed in clean lines while the other woman wore bold hats and dresses with ornamentation that was over the top. They felt like that what was defined them as chic. Coco didn't have to try..she had it. The simplicity of her clothing just sends me over the moon. I left wanting to design again, which I haven't felt like doing in months. Will I design again? Not now. The feeling though is alive within me. The message I got from the movie is , follow your dreams. Be who you are..don't become a carbon copy of some one's thoughts or ideas about life, love and even fashion. It made me want to scream from the roof tops.."I AM WHO I AM AND I LOVE IT"!!! I haven't always felt this way. It took me along time to navigate the waters of life and really understand what makes me tick. I always had an inkling, but I never had the courage to stick to my convictions. Especially growing up. It seemed like I was a leader, but I was really a follower. I got into drinking and other things because I couldn't fathom not fitting in. When I did fit in, I hated it. I was a confused girl. It took me getting sober to realize that my opinions mattered and also I could be unique and still be apart of a group. What I also had to learn is that we all are unique therefore I had to accept my family and friends differences as well as our similarities. That's a hard one. To get my expectations out of the way and be in acceptance...that's something I struggle with today. Especially with my children. Should they have opinions? Of course. Should I honor them? Yes. Should I let go even when I know that they might get hurt? If it is not life threatening. Can I be there to help them pick up the pieces? Most certainly. Do I say I told you so when I help them pick up the pieces? No. I have to be there for them to listen to them, hug them and let them cry if they need to. I can point out the lesson, but I have to not preach. Do I fall short of this? Sometimes. Oh yeah. It's hard to let my kids do something that I know will cause them pain. Especially if I have done a similar thing. I have to do it though so they feel comfortable talking to me. Trust and openness is the key to good communication. It's hard being a grown-up. It's not always easy being a parent. How did I get on that tangent when I was speaking about Coco?!? I think because she saw life as it was and did what she could to survive. She made choices she wasn't always wanting to, but she learned from them and it made her stronger. I always have felt that although I haven't always liked some of my life choices or haven't liked situations that have happened to me and our family, that because of all it, I could write from my heart and soul. I feel this way about Coco. She was who she was because of her past and she rocked it hard in her fashion. She is an icon that I sooooooooooooo love. My hat goes off to Coco. My shoulder is waiting for her bag!!!

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. Last night my boys (hubby included until he fell asleep) were all watching Glee together, my favorite show of the fall 2009 season!! My boys have the,it's hard to sit still for more than one second" syndrome. I thought they were going to out grow this syndrome after being toddlers. Hasn't left yet!! Anyways, we were watching Glee in between me shushing them and telling them to stop talking. All of a sudden one of my boys jumps up and runs to my bathroom. "I hit myself with my elbow on the lip. I cut my lip.I'm bleeeeeeding". He comes running out of my bathroom to show me. The look on his face is priceless. He is bleeding, but not too badly. I start to laugh (just so you don't think I am heartless, he is laughing too!) and I can't stop. I have to push pause on Glee ( a travesty). My hubby wakes up being a Crankisaurus Rex and starts shushing me, which leads me to laugh even harder. My other two boys are laughing just as hard as me. I know that my boy is okay. The bleeding subsides. I have to tell you that what struck me is, how did he hit his lip with this elbow? It seems impossible. We all tried it. He tried to rein act it and couldn't!! Welcome to my world. These kinds of things are always happening to him He is a magnet for weird occurrences. A lot of the time I get annoyed and for some reason this time I didn't. Could it be that I can find humor in my boys testosterone adventures at last?!? I better start having more humorous interactions because their testosterone is alive and kicking. Maybe I should up my testosterone creme so I can understand the inner workings of the testosterone mind? On second thought, I'll stay where I am. I couldn't fathom losing my feminine characteristics. They are strong and work like a charm!!

Can you relate?

More will be revealed. Please come back for more.

Signing off until we meet again.

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