Thursday, September 24, 2009
Day Sixteen...Did I Hear You?
I was talking with my daughter about relationships today. I was talking to several friends today about hurt feelings. I picked up my boys from school and one of them insinuated that I liked the other son better because I let him on the computer after school while I didn't let them. Huh? I had to remind him that he asked me to remind him that he does better in school when he is not rushing to get on the computer or FIFA on the Wii. "Oh yeah", was the response!!!
The grown up in me had to tell my son that it hurt my feelings when he said I liked one of my boys over him. I explained that I love all of my kids, do for all of them , and sometimes I have to treat them differently because of their individual needs. I think he got it. I am not one to pit one person over the other. I try to be fair with my kids, my husband, and all my other relationships. Do I fall short sometimes? Of course I do.
Communication is the key. I often get hurt because of my expectations. "I would NEVER treat a friend like that" I would NEVER exclude somebody from something (on purpose at least!). "I would NEVER...blah blah blah. My father taught me along time ago when I was in junior high..oops middle school (out dating myself), in high school, in college, as a young adult, as a married person, as a mom..are you getting my drift? I am still having to learn this lesson my dad told me over and over again, "If you place your expectations on what you would do on someone else, you are bound to be disappointed. You can accept them for who they are,like or love them for who they are, or choose to not have them in your life". Harsh words at the time when I was hurting ..but very, very, true.
It's hard sometimes to open up and be vulnerable. What happens if the person on the other end doesn't feel the same way? What if they get mad? What if they don't want me in their life anymore? I can make myself CRAZY over the "what ifs". Most often, it goes well and if it doesn't then it was meant to be. It was a lesson for me to learn, a relationship for me to change, a chance for me to listen to my heart and soul. So if it is joy or pain, at the end of the day..it is all apart of the process to believe in me, stand up for me, look at my errors, own up to things that I need to, not take on someones crap....communication.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. When I am on the computer..I am a zombie. I hear no evil and see no evil. My kids are always teasing me that I become a different person. A few weeks ago, I heard my son calling for me. "Mom. Mom''. It sounded faint. I didn't get up from my desk. I am constantly being called for a mundane reason. "Didn't you hear me yelling for you?" He was holding his shoulder. "Not really." It turns out that he had tripped over something (probably one of their shoes that was left in the middle of the hallway) and his shoulder popped out of the socket. I pushed it back in. Kissed his shoulder profusely. Felt REALLY guilty.
Mantra..I don't have one.
Moral of the story? I don't have one.
Okay maybe I do...Listen, be present and communicate.
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,