Today is Sunday..the day of rest. Sure. Who am I kidding? We had two soccer games today. I went to the early game and my hubby went to the later one. Me and my son left the house at 7:30 am. The game was about an hour away. I woke up for good at five because I was afraid the alarm would not go off. Let me tell you that the alarm always goes off, it's my head that doesn't go off! I tried meself to relax and go back to sleep at 2:00 am, 3:00 am , and 4:00 am... but by five my eyes were wide open and ready to start the day. I am happy for People Magazine. . I read it cover to cover. I love to read Mailbag, StarTracks, Scoop..okay I like the entire magazine. ( i love the pics). I have been reading it for years. I don't like to have my kids or hubby read over my shoulder or beside me. It really bugs me. I like to get lost in it and not think about my day to day stuff. So, that's what I did at 5:00 am until I had to shower and wake up my son.
The game was okay. They tied. I told my son it is better to have a tie than a loss. He was bummed for a bit, but by the time we had our "date" lunch, he was just fine. I don't know if the smog or smokey air ( the fires still have a remnant of smoke) is giving me a headache, but I just don't feel up to par. My friend Adrienne came over and we talked , laughed and looked through store catalogs and discussed what items we had to buy to fill in our wardrobe for fall. I think I am in pretty good shape. There is nothing like hanging with a girlfriend. It just makes me feel at one with the world. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging with my hubby and kids. We have a great time. We talk, we laugh, we bicker. It's just different with a girlfriend. I got to go through my old jackets and sweaters and try them on. She got what I was asking of her. "Yes it's still good" "You don't NEED anything" So, now I am set and ready to focus on something else...for the minute at least. As you may have or not have noticed, we didn't discuss purses!!!! The rest of my day is going to be spent knitting and hanging with my hubby and my youngest son. I am looking forward to chillin.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I don't know if any of you have done this before. I was walking home from work one day when I was living in New York. I had just had a miscarriage and I was feeling really sad and depressed. It was our first attempt at having a child. I was only 6 weeks along, but I had already pictured our lives with this baby. On my way home from work everyday, I walked past the Barney's Co op on 7th Avenue. On that particular day there were these really adorable green suede low boots in the window. This feeling came over me (compulsion!) and I walked straight to the shoe department and did not pass go. I bought those boots. They were REALLY EXPENSIVE. I didn't care. For a split second, I forgot how sad and depressed I was. I tried to wear them many many times and they were the most uncomfortable shoes I had ever owned. I ended up giving them to my sister in law a few years later.
Why is it that I need material things to make me feel better? It never works, but I do it over and over again!! Why can't I just allow myself to feel the pain? Pain always goes away if I deal with it. This is something I am constantly working on. I try today not to buy anything or stuff my mouth with food when I feel the need to check out. I am trying to feel the feelings. I am finding that it is not so bad.
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,