Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Day Seventy-Three..Do You Believe


Do you believe in Angels? I do. I am not sure that they are the kind with wings and such. I believe that people come in my path to show me a better way to live. I think that angels present themselves in people, in situations that are just too "weird" to not be something divine. I often think my kids are Angels in disguise (only when they are acting oh so wonderful). They teach me things about life that I would never have dreamed I needed to learn. What you might ask? Well, how to love unconditionally for starters. I love them to my core and don't expect anything back. That's not entirely true I suppose. I would like a kiss, a hug and to be treated with respect. Is this too much to ask?!? My kids have taught me to change the things that I don't like about myself so I can be a better mom and person. What could THAT possibly be? Patience, patience, patience. ( oops I just yelled at my boy) My first instinct is to get pissed off...(which I just did), so I have learned to take a lot of deep breaths (which I did not just do). I have learned to say I am wrong when I have hurt their feelings ( I just did that). That's a big one (yes it is). ADMIT I AM WRONG?!? It is so freeing (yes it is). My kids want to please me so they always say, "It's okay Mommy" ( he did not just do this). I could just leave it there...I can't. "NO, what I did was not okay and I want you to know that I know it wasn't cool". The relief in their eyes and face makes me assured that they will have less time on the psychologist couch because I know how to admit my mistakes (yes I do). It also teaches them that they can admit their mistakes too (and they do). It's a win, win ( cha-ching). My kids have taught me to be honest, NOT "do as I say not as I do". Rest assured that between my four kids they are always reminding me that I said this and that. It can be tiring. They keep me on my toes!!! It's not always easy taking the high road..but it's so much better not have to watch your back. My Angels have taught me not to give up. How can I give up when they are encouraging me to push through. One of my boys cheers me on when I am running. "Go Mom..Go...pick up the pace". What I want to say is...."I f*ing can't go anymore. I want to stop running right now. Leave me alone." What I do say is..."I'm doing the best I can". I finish the run (or race) and pride is in those boys eyes. Now that's an Angel.

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I have not had a piece of chocolate, candy,muffin, cake or doughnut for about 2 years and 4 months (but whose counting!). I can't eat that stuff. Once I have one bite..I want to eat more and more and more. I can never get enough. I eat that stuff until my stomach looks like I am 9 months pregnant and I feel DISGUSTING. Today, I was with my friend at Target. She was having a hankering for Ghiradelli's Chocolate Peppermint Bark Candy. We walked to the holiday aisle where all the sweets were. Usually when I pass buy this aisle, I have no desire what so ever to purchase and eat. NOT TODAY!!! Those cookies and candies were calling to me, "Wolffie, come eat me..I taste sooooooooooooooooooo good"! Can you imagine this conversation in my head? How absurd. It was happening though. WALK AWAY FROM THE EVER SO TEMPTING AISLE. I did..but my mind kept thinking about those damn cookies and chocolate bars. Then an "Angel" came to me in the way of a cute pair of Jammie's. I immediately changed course in my brain and thought, "Now those are CUTE Jammie's". I don't NEED new Jammie's. Nothing was bought (or eaten). We're talking progress here my friends!!!!!

Can you relate?

More will be revealed. Please come back for more.

Signing off until we meet again.

In Love and Peace,


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