My last entry was eight days ago. Several times in this past week my head and fingers wanted to write, but my heart tugged at me to stay in the moment. I am glad I listened to my heart. This was a busy week with a lot of meaningful days.
For one, my birthday. I have been on this earth for 49 years and I have learned to celebrate my life with gusto. My demons of getting older have been laid to rest. I relish every wrinkle and accept with as much dignity and humor my muffin tops and my lack of a youthful body. I suppose that there is apart of me that loves the extra layer that keeps me warmer in the winter and out of a bikini in the summer. I could go full force and become an exercise junkie..but then I wouldn't be able to fit in all the dining with my girlfriends, running to the point of glee rather than exhaustion, working to get my my wardrobe consulting business off the ground, staying in touch with my daughter, hanging with my hubby, taking my boys to and fro and of course my writing. Not a bad way to live. I am filled with busy days with people that I adore and love and who adore and love me!!! Yipeee.
My hubby had a birthday this past week as well. His twin brother came to town and we had a great day. His kids surprised us the next day. So, we had days filled with family, which I love. There is nothing like being around family when it works. My kids love their cousins and vice versa. Age doesn't matter as they love to hang and be crazy. I got a bit overwhelmed at times with the crazy part..but they seemed to get it and settled down for a minute or two so I would get off their backs and proceed to have the crazies again!!!
The three year anniversary of my daddy's passing was this past week as well. This date looms over me all the days of December. How will I feel? What should I feel? This year we all went to the cemetery. I cried like a baby. My kids hugged me and my hubby let me feel the feelings of sadness. Something happened to me as I walked away from his resting place. I let go. My life has to move on. I can't be stuck in sadness. I have felt so afraid to let go. Maybe it was guilt, not fear. I am not sure how to label this one. All I know is that I didn't want to let go of my sadness because if I did then my dad would be gone. Poof. Absurd Wolffie. I think the suddenness of his death didn't give me time to prepare for the loss of him in my life, my moms life and my kids life. Are we ever ready to lose someone we hold so dearly? I don't think so. All I do know is that I am ready to look into the future and not dwell on the past.
New Year's Eve signifies reflection and partying at the same time. How does one do that? Whoo Hoo, I ate too much chocolate buts lets get down to Justine Timberlake? Lets Partay likes it 1999. Lets eat too much...drink too much and deal with it tomorrow. My feelings on the matter is..Why eat and drink more cause the scale is gonna tell you that you just added couple to the 5 you already want to lose? So, I eat normal and drink my water and diet coke and if I am really gonna go for it, I might have an iced tea so I can stay up until 12:00!!!
Last night was special. We went to our friends Wendi and Brian's. It wast just them and our boys. We had every intention of eating, playing some board games and being at home by 10:00 to beat the intoxicated drivers. Best laid plans. We ate a yummy meal, laughed our heads off, rang in the east coast New Year (9:00 pm our time), laughed some more, played Apples to Apples, laughed some more, rang in the actual New Year, laughed some more, and came home. It was the perfect way to ring in the new year. It was filled with love, laughter, light, and a promise for a good year to come. I wish this for all of you...love, laughter, light and a promise for a good year to come..oh yeah lets throw in some good health too!!! May we all be who we are meant to be.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I was introduced to a new game on my IPhone, Words With Friends. It is like playing Scrabble. I am currently and playing with six people. You play one on one and it is ADDICTING. I tell myself that it is good for my brain (which it is I am sure!). Who am I kidding? I want to win!! So far that hasn't been the case. My pals come up with words I have never heard of and they are worth mega points. My kids laugh at me. They want to play my games and like any good mother would do...I say...NO WAY IT'S MY GAME!!!! What if they miss out on a killer word? What if they make it so my opponent gets a killer word? What if Wolffie? It's only a game...right? I am laughing at me right now!! My hubby is halfway between wringing my neck and thrilled because I can't chide him about his Crackberry addiction. Maybe I should start a Words With Friends 12 step program. I am powerless over Words With Friends and my life is unmanageable.....wait...before I do....is there anyone out there who has an IPhone who wants to play?!?
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,