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Hi.
In this time of recession, I have forgotten to pamper myself. I rarely get a mani/pedi and I color my hair every -four to six months instead of every six weeks. I found a color stick that is close to my own bottled hair color, so I wand my gray away!!! I have become a great nail filer..and I push down my cuticles instead of having them cut...and I have not had a facial in what I thought was three months..but it turned out to be 10 months. Which leads me into my point of the blog. I had a facial today!!! I create massive amounts dead skin so I got a micro dermabrasion facial. My lovely facialist and friend plucked my eyebrows and gave me a lip rip. I was beginning to look like my 13 year old boys with the black mustache line. When the facial was over and I gave a once over to my clean skin..I looked 5 years younger. I walked out with no make-up to hide my brown spots and the red marks from picking my skin ( a total no-no). I didn't care ..I felt a bit more youthful. Why is that I will let go of things that pamper me and I still do for the kids? Heck, my 19 year old daughter comes home from college and I make sure she gets a facial or her eyebrows waxed. I'm happy to do it...but again I have to wonder why I am last on the totem pole of pamper ville? I booked my next one for 2 months from now.
As I was thinking about this I realized that there are others ways to pamper thyself. I had a therapist once who told me that I should do something to pamper myself every day. In the old days when the mullah was flowing, I had weekly manicures, got my hair done when I needed to, bought things for myself that I wanted and really did not need. I was pampered on the outside for sure. One of my favorite ways to pamper thyself today is to have my first cup of coffee in bed. I do that most mornings. The hubby brings it to me and I feel like a queen. I also like to light candles. I feel like my kids aren't going to crash into the lit candles anymore (they still like to put their fingers in the flame to make it dance) so I light them..sometimes even at dinner. I make sure I light my candle every time I am writing on the computer..the scent is a feminine powder scent...a far cry from the boy smell that permeates around my house! Running has become a form of pampering for me as well. It clears my head, gets my endorphins flowing and my body gets a good workout. I can't wait to get back to it. Meditation has been a life saver for me as well. When I allow it into my daily life..I am a calm woman. I haven't been meditating on a daily basis and I really feel it.
I want to start a revolution. Calling out to all women...We must promise to PAMPER THYSELF everyday. It doesn't have to cost anything..it doesn't require endless hours..it just requires the willingness to honor ourselves in any way that makes us happy and glowing. Who's with me on this?!?
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I went to the doctor to get my results of the MRI. I have a tear and a cut in my meniscus. It doesn't require surgery. I had a cortisone shot today. I am not always great with the unknown. I have never had a cortisone shot before...so I was asking a million question: Will it hurt? Can I get an allergic reaction? Will I feel numb? Can I walk right after the shot? So the long and short of it is..it hurt a little. I took long deep breaths as the shots were going in. My knee is sooooooo much better. There was apart of me that wanted to leave and not get the shot. That was the little girl in me that doesn't want to feel pain and doesn't like to have stuff injected in me. I told my cute doctor..(he's really cute). If he told me to jump off a bridge, I just might..especially if he was gonna jump with me and hold my hand. Anyways, I told him that I didn't know why I was so nervous..I have been through much worse. I mean come on Wolffie: vaginal childbirth, C-section (on the twins), another childbirth (V-back), breast cancer..chemo..radiation..tons of surgeries (for the breast cancer)..this was nothing..a piece of cake. What's an injection or two in my knee?!? I stayed and it really was no big deal...a bit of a burn and then the pay off...LESS PAIN. I am walking around much better and the good news is...I might be able to exercise in 2 weeks....so my muffin tops won't increase and my arms will still be stellar. All is good.
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,
Wolffie
Hi.
I have been going on and on about medical stuff and I forgot to let you in on my latest "visit". As most of you know by now I have these little material obsessions from time to time. I often will see something in a store that pulls at my heart strings. It's usually a purse. I walked into a local boutique a few weeks ago and found the "it" bag of the moment. Well..it's a "it" bag for me at least. It was $199.00..a bit more than I was comfortable spending. The sales associate informed me that it was 25% off. It was still more than I wanted to spend. So I bean to "visit" the metallic silver bag with brass studs. It wasn't being reduced. I got bold one day and asked if I could have more 0ff. They hemmed and hawed and said I could have it for 30% off. It was still more than I wanted to spend. I truly didn't "need" it. So...I decided to stop visiting the bag and that was the end of it. UNTIL....two days ago. I walked past the store and saw a fabulous sign... ENTIRE STORE 60% OFF. My heart started racing. I walked into the store and took a beeline to where the purse was usually displayed. NO PURSE. I asked the sales associate about my bag..SHE SAID IT WAS GONE. I was a little down hearted as I tooled around the store to see if there was anything else that called out to me. There was nothing. I felt a bit defeated BUT THEN I SAW THE PURSE!!!!!!! I snatched that bag up as quickly as I could and dashed to the register. I was practically jumping up for joy..even with my bum knee. I pulled out my American Express gift card and purchased my bag that was meant for me!!! Happy belated birthday to me!!!! I am all for inner peace and I truly believe that happiness starts on the inside ...but every once in a while a good find does make my day.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. So back to my medical woes. I had my MRI today. What a pain in the you know what that was!!! I had to keep my knee straight for 45 minutes. I had to redo 4 pictures because my knee involuntarily jerked and the pictures were blurred. My mantra was "stay still ...breathe..it's almost over" Then I started making up songs to the different sounds coming from the intensely loud machine. It helped me to stop focusing on the burning sensation in my knee. Whatever it takes..right?!? I am hoping that all will be well..no tears in my meniscus and that I can get back to running soon. I know I have to take it slow....I don't really know much about that...but I guess this is forcing me to learn the lesson of patience.
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,
Wolffie
As I sit here waiting for the hubby to come out of his colonoscopy, I can’t help but be pissed. I don’t even know where to start. There is muzac playing in the waiting area. I feel like I am in an elevator. They handed the hubby a buzzer to hold until his name is called. I feel like I am in a restaurant. So impersonal. Where has the warm and fuzzy human contact gone? We both walk up to a dude after the buzzer rang. He was taking the hubby into the surgery area. I am a couple of steps behind when I hear the dude ask (very rudely), “Is someone staying with you or picking you up?” I tried to ask him a question and the dude was being really persistent… “Is someone staying with you or picking you up?” Does the dude have any sense that the hubby is nervous and so am I? Routine colonoscopy or not, we are entitled to be nervous. Right?!? All I wanted to ask…and I finally did…”Are you going to call me when he’s awake’? His answer..”Are you staying or coming back to pick him up? "I'd like to sit with him when he wakes up”. Nasty dude, open your ears. I stare at him. I mean glare at him “YOU CAN'T COME IN” he says. “WHY NOT?”, I bark. HIP(the privacy Act)…Fu*K you… I thought to myself. I could see the hubby getting irritated. I shut up and kissed him good-bye. ..I went back to write this. I am fuming on the inside. I threw down (gently) my laptop and went to the front desk and spoke with a nice lady. Of course the nasty dude was wrong. I can sit with the hubby. And I will. If there is one thing I have learned in my years of dealing with doctors and hospitals…you have to be an advocate for yourself and your family and you MUST speak up. I don’t understand why some people who work in the health care field have to be cranky. Of course there are nice and lovely caring people who work in hospitals and doctors offices. but the ones who are cranky..make me have a bad taste in my mouth. In the end though, I was nice, persistent and I got to be with the hubby. I don’t want to miss out on how funny he is when he wakes up from anesthesia!! That could a blog entry in itself! (he is fine and healthy!!!)
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I had a doctor’s appointment right after the hubby this morning for my knee. The long and short of my visit today is..I have to have an MRI. To some of you, this might sound like a no biggie event. To me, I have one word to describe my initial reaction. Panic!! I have a issue with MRI’s. I have Claustrophobic Syndrome. I made them (in a nice panicky way) call and make sure that my head would be out of the machine. It is going to be. I haven’t gotten to the bottom as to why I am claustrophobic. I have made my blood pressure rise many times. I really don’t like elevators, especially the ones that don’t show you what floor you are on. My heart starts racing and I get light headed. It’s crazy..but I can’t help it. I try to breathe in and get into a calm meditative state. I don’t totally get into a calm place but it is better than hysteria!!! Some will say I have control issues. Is it so wrong to know what floor you are passing as you go up or down on an elevator? Also, why does it sometimes take so long for the doors to open? On time I asked the maintenance man at a huge office building to ride in the elevator with me. He thought I was nuts. Okay maybe I was a little, but I can’t imagine being stuck in an elevator alone. I know I sound like a weirdo head case, but I give myself a pat on the back for getting in elevators. Sometimes I cave into the fear and take the stairs. I won’t walk up 17 flights of stairs. I draw the line at walking up 8 flights of stairs. The positive is that it does burn calories, clears your mind and gets your heart pumping. Maybe I should start a new fad diet!?! Hmmmmmm. What should I name it? The Honor That You Have Claustrophobia Diet. I see a big book deal in the works for this one!!!
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,
Wolffie
Hi.I was having a much needed lunch date with four of my oldest and dearest friends. I love eating with them because I never know what our conversations will be about. Sometimes it's about the highs and lows of our kids. Somtimes it's about the highs and lows of our hubbies. Sometimes it's about the highs and lows about our lives. Sometimes it's just plain silly and fun fun fun.Today it was about boobs, face lifts, getting older and insurance companies. We never can complete a full sentence because someone is ALWAYS interrupting with a follow up to what the conversations is or a segway into another topic.We are all 49 or fast approaching it and we marvel at how we have changed from several years back..what we look like now and what we are going to look like in the future. This sounds so impersonal and fake...but the truth is..OUR BODIES HAVE CHANGED. I announced today that I want to fix my boobs. Since the cancer, I have one perky radiated boob and my other one is hanging low. Sigh. " Wolffie, we all have saggy boobs. I can't tell that yours are lopsided." Gravity has taken our youthful boobs from us. Cancer or not..I would be a sagging. Those padded bras are a boob saver for sure. Then we moved onto our hips and legs. Some of us yo yo in our weight and some of us have stayed the same...BUT...we all have changed in the middle and our legs have changed too. Is this fair? We all agreed it is what it is..you can't fight with time..it ticks away with or without your consent. The one thing I LOVE about my gal pals is that they always have a kind word to say about our fallen soldiers..i.e. our boobies, our changing middles, and our wrinkles. We are eachothers allies.My forever sweet friend Julie shared with us that most women are always wishing for our bodies to be how they were in the past..never realizing that in 10 years from now we would all kill for how our bodies are today...SO...we should revel in where we are..accept it and live in the moment. I have to agree...so for today I will be grateful for my one perky boob and one saggy boob. I will be overjoyed with my muffin tops..and I will embrace my booty. Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I also announced today that I REALLY DISLIKE insurance companies. The hubby has to have a colonoscopy on Monday. The doctor's office called to say he has to pay a HUGE amount up front because of our insurance...Did I say only insurance? I meant SUCKY insurance. We are penalized for me having cancer and beating cancer. Imagine that?!? Anyways, this got my friends talking about ways for us not to have a radically high deductible...and there solution after we exhausted most of the scenarios.....AARP. What?!? "I am NOT a senior citizen ladies." My friend Lori had such glee in her eyes when she exclaimed, "You are 50 next year...and AARP has great benefits and a great magazine!!!" Was this supposed to make me happy?!? AARP? We all busted up (as usual when we are together). My first inclination would be for our government state and federal to take care of us (by that I mean all citizens of the ol US of A....not sure that will ever happen...SO...it might have to be AARP. I can't wait to get the magazine. Do you think they have good pictures and large type?!?Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.Signing off until we meet again.In Love and Peace,Wolffie
Hi.
I was talking to a close friend today about all of our body ailments.. my knee and back pain and knee pain. We had to giggle as we have been friends for so long and this is not what we are used to talking about. Ailments or our 14 year boy crushes? Hmmmm. that's a toss up!!!
The question that keeps haunting me is..am I doing too much? Sh*t, I am only 49. I want to challenge myself phyically and spiritually. Am I choosing the right challenges? I have to admit something. I don't like to exercise. I have tried the gym. Don't like the treadmill. Don't like the machines. The weights are..yawn, yawn..BORING. I love to swim...BUT it's a bit chilly now..so maybe in the Spring I can start up again. I want to try road biking..BUT I am a bit scared of the cars on the raod. I LOVE running. Who would have thunk?!? NOT ME!!! It requires so much. First..the act of moving your legs. Second, the act of using your lungs. In the beginning all I wanted to do was throw up. My lungs hurt. My feet hurt. My neck hurt. My thighs hurt. I JUST HURT!! Why did I push through? Partly because I wanted to have something in common with my boy, Running Stud. We talked about mine and his distances and times. He wanted to know my successes. He gave (and still does) me pointers. It was (and still is) great to have running in common. Somewhere along the journey I started running for me. I loved being outdoors. I loved that my distances were getting longer. I like to compete..even though I don't compete to be number one, but rather to finish the race. I love the running gear. So, with the groin pain, I push through. With my MCL injured I am counting the days until I can run again. So, when my friend said today that we are getting old bodies..I giggled..but I have to say I am not going to let myself think I can't. My mantra: I think I can, I think I can from here on in.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. Have you ever been so sore from exercise that you can't get out of bed? A few years ago, I signed up for one on one with a personal trainer. I was at my first training session..and she worked me hard. I kept saying, "I Can't Do This!" She kept saying "I want no excuses..just do it." So I did it. I woke up the next morning with every muscle in my body aching. I had to roll out of bed. It took me five minutes to ease myself onto the toilet. I barely could raise my hand to wash my hair. IT WAS AWFUL. I WANTED TO KILL MY TRAINER!! I cancelled my next session because after a couple of days...I still had to roll out of bed, ease myself onto the loo and it hurt liked crap to wash my hair. ANNOYING!!! Do I have to pay someone to feel so bad? It didn't make sense to me. Oh, I forgot to mention that I wanted to throw up..and she smiled!!!!! After three weeks ( I am not exaggerarting!!!) of pain and cancelling my sessions..I quit. Yes I am a quitter...and I felt empowered.
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,
Wolffie
If I could turn back the hands of time…I would. I just want January 9-19 back so I could change some of the events that happened. One: my daughter going back to college. I love her independence. But I could have enjoyed a bit more time with her. The problem about her being a well rounded young woman is..she doesn't need to be with me all the time. I just wanted to spend more time window shopping, having our yummy lunches, getting our mani and pedi’s AND engulfing myself in her beautiful female energy. Now that she is gone…the testosterone energy in my house is alive and...well ...how can I put this…..larger than life. Spring break is around the corner. So I am counting the days.
My youngest son, Soccer Stud, broke his arm in two places on January 9Th. The good man from upstairs was watching over me because I was on a run when it happened. The thought of watching him scream out in pain is nightmarish to me. I was on my way to his game (a bit late) and and I called the hubby and he promptly said the ambulance was on the way, Soccer Stud broke his arm and I should meet him at ER. So, calm mommy(really I was!!!) went and stood buy her little guy for 5 hours. It’s so hard to watch a child in pain. I kept asking for the pain killer. It took at least an hour in a half for him to get some morphine. There’s nothing like that drug. He calmed down, sang a bit and we could be at ease until they had to sedate him for the resetting of his arm. So, four morphine shots, a sedation and a casting, we got to go home. Unfortunately for Soccer Stud, he had to get his arm recast four days later. That meant another trip to the hospital, sedation, a resetting and a new red cast.
We were supposed to all go to New York for a family event. Soccer Stud couldn't fly. I stayed home with him and we vowed to have a nice quiet fun weekend. I promised him a sushi night and Japanese food where they cook for you in the middle of the table. The hubby doesn't like to go because your clothes get super stinky. We both think its worth the stink. Our weekend was going as planned…fun…lots of hanging…sushi. We even watched The Jets VS chargers game from start to finish. After dinner we went for our yummy but stinky meal with another family. It was a rainy night so I was going ahead to get the car after dinner so Soccer Stud wouldn't get his cast wet. I opened the door of the restaurant, and BOOM..I slipped and my knee went one place while my leg went in another direction. I felt something and it was not good. I screwed up my MCL. So, here I am in a knee brace and on crutches. OMG. WTF. I can’t train for my ½ marathon. I'm not happy about that. I can’t go to the market. I am happy about that!! My family is waiting on me. I like that.
Why listen to Wolffie. Because I get it. I think there is a message here? Am I supposed to slow down? Should I be catching up on all the shows I have on Tivo? Should I read the four books I have had on my nightstand for months? Should I spend more individual time with my boys? Should I spend more one on one time with the hubby? Should I be more in the moment? Should I do my needlepoint and knitting projects that are waiting so patiently for me to finish? All these "should I's" sound warm and fuzzy.
The moral of the story is: There is no moral. Accidents happen. This one sucks. I guess that is a moral!!
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,
Wolffie
Hi.Today was a doctor day. I took my three boys, 13, 13, and 12 to the pediatrician for their annual check-ups. I can't tell you how many times they asked me if the doctor was going to touch their penis. I said no each time and explained they are checking your balls(hope that doesn't offend anyone)..and it's just a quick check to see if they are functioning. OMG. You would think that the world was coming to an end. They must have amnesia about this because the ball checking has been happening since they were infants!!!! Maybe I should have told them about my bi yearly visits to the gynecologist for my pap smear. Or I could tell them about how my boobs get squished once a year for my mammogram.. Do you think they would want to know about how several doctors a year feel me up to make sure that the cancer has not come back?. Forget me, how about the prostate test their dad gets once a year. That would probably send them over the edge!! I know that nobody likes to have a clinical feel..I get it. It just caused me to giggle inside.Boys and their penis's are mystery to me! I am happy to report that my boys are all good..sacs and all. They have grown a ton, put on weight, have good heads on their shoulders, and are for the most part ( you know the constant bickering) are great kids. So I guess my hubby and I have done our jobs right so far.After I dropped them off at school, I did a Major marketing. I had nothing in the frig or in our pantry. I must tell you that of all my so called jobs as a mother, I really don't like to go to the market. I like cooking and I like eating..but going up and down the isles to me is just ..I can't put it into words. Maybe its because I have so many choices. I wanted to buy Raisin Bran. Do I buy organic, plump raisins, whole wheat? What's a person to do?!? I just picked the one with the pretty purple box (it happened to be organic).After the market I went to the orthodontist to see the plans for my twins braces.. OVERWHELMING!! The weird part is that my boys have the same exact mouth..bite, molars not quite in, and one wisdom tooth coming in. It's fascinating. They are identical twins..but in every day life they are so different. One is 5 inches taller and 14 pounds heavier so they don't always strike me as identical. I think I am going to have to get a part time job to pay for their beautification. Especially since my youngest will be in braces or a retainer in a few months as well. They are being so kind to giving us a payment plan. By the time we finish paying off their bills, they will be about to start college. Just writing this makes me want to go have a large frozen yogurt with sugar free hot fudge..but the thought of gas pains is discouraging me from this thought rapidly. Besides I can't escape the situation, can I?!?Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I know that if you have read my blogs once or twice, then you will know that I like shopping. It's not the act of shopping that I like. I am not the type who likes to spend all day going from store to store browsing, having lunch, browsing some more and then going for the purchase. I am a "I HAVE to have ________NOW. I will go into a store, a couple if I have to..try it on (not much of an online shopper as I love to feel the clothing, purse, shoe, or handbag) and buy it. Yesterday, I had to buy one of my boys a new suit. He had outgrown his that I bought 6 months ago. I went to Nordies. I bought a beautiful DKNY suit and Nordie white dress shirt. It all cost $297.00. I felt desperate as we are going to New York next week for our nieces Bat-Mitzvah. That seemed like a chunk of change as he seldom wears a suit. I sauntered down to Macy's. They were having a sale!!!! I picked out a beautiful 2 piece Calvin Klein suit for $145.00 at regular price. It was 25% off. The dress shirt was $26.00 and also 25% off. The problem I faced was the pants were gone from the 2 piece set!! Where did they go? They weren't in the back stock room and they weren't on the sales floor. Where were they? Rose, my friendly sales associate, was just as perplexed as me!!!! I ended buying a sports jacket, dress pant, 2 dress shirts, 3 pair of Levis Super Skinny's on sale (their new favorites). All this cost $247 buckaroos!!! The end result? The suit looks dashing on my boy, two Levi's are going back as well as one dress shirt. Oh, The Nordies purchase? Gone back to its original home. Fabulous!!!! Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.Signing off until we meet again.In Love and Peace,Wolffie
Hi.
I have been looking for my friend for about six years. She fell off the face of the earth. I knew she moved..but her cell changed as well. I tried to find her on My Space, Facebook..but she wasn't anywhere. I recently asked my hubby to post something on Facebook...none of the old cronies knew where she was. Today was a great day. My hubby comes into our room this morning..."Guess who friended me on Facebook today?" I had no clue. It was Susan!!!! I immediately sent her a message on Facebook and asked her to be my Facebook friend. We have talked several times today...time apart did not change the ease of our friendship. I am so happy that we are back in contact. I love when people come into my life after some time and they come back in with such ease and grace. I was so afraid that she had died as she has not been healthy. She is fine and her humor is there and so is her sweetness. She needed to go underground to heal. What a gift I got today.
Two of my boys want to quit middle school band. They don't like the songs they are learning and they think it is geeky. I am a component of not quiting in the middle of an activity or class.. They are at me every day to quit. I talked to the teacher today. She wasn't happy. She likes them and feels they are an asset to the program. Of course they are!! I don't want to fall prey to their pressure. I want to stick to my guns. If they quit this then will I be sending them a a message that it's okay not to follow through when things are boring? It's tough cuz the hubby is in agreement with them. He hated band as a kid too. I guess I am going to be the mean bitchy mom...but a lesson is a lesson. Following through builds character. I know they will not like me now, but later..like in a couple hours after I tell them "the news" they will be okay.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I don't know about you..but once a month right before when I got my period..the world was dark and bleak. Everything bugged me...especially my poor sweet and kind hubby. It didn't matter what he said or did..I had dagger eyes and a bitchy tone to my voice. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I listened to my PMS thoughts. I would be alone, raising four kids, sad, lonely and lost. I am sooooooooooooo very happy and grateful that I didn't listen to my crazy mind..and I am sure he is too!! There is something to be said for menopause..I don't have the monthly glitches in my brain that want to lead me to the dark side!!!
Lesson: Don't quit on life, love, and music!!!
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,
Wolffie
Hi.
I had an experience the other day day that I would like to share. It's something that sounds like "What's the big deal"..but to me it was a revelation.
I went for a trail run with my running pal, Pamela. We have been doing one trail run a week and I really have enjoyed the difference to running on the road. We are on target for our training for our 1/2 marathon in March, so we were doing a 6 mile run. Piece of cake. We started off and all was well. We were talking and catching up on our New Years Eve evenings and the updates on our kids. We passed our 2 mile marker and were going to run another mile out and then head back to our starting point. The trail was starting to get hilly and I was starting to get dizzy. "Push yourself Wolffie, you can do it". So I listened to my inner radio station called KF*CK. As the course was getting hillier I was getting dizzier. I yelled out to Pamela, "I gotta walk for a bit". I was not happy. I couldn't believe I had to stop running. My mouth was parched and I remembered that all the soda I had been drinking all week and the fact that I did not drink a lot of water before the run was taking its toll. If you don't treat your body like a temple then you are screwed. I proceeded to run again as we had turned around and we were running down hill. I GOT A MAJOR CRAMP. "Breathe through it Wolffie" So I tried. It wasn't going away. My inner voice became soft and loving "Walk Wolffie, just walk". I listened to that voice as my head and right hand were both tingling. I wasn't ready to faint on the trail. "Go on ahead Pamela, I am walking the rest of the way". She ran ahead and turned back to loop me to make sure I was okay. What a great partner!!!! When the end of the run was in sight I told her to go on ahead as I was better. The tingling had stopped. Usually when I am running on the trail, I am looking down on the path so I won't trip on a rock or branch. Now that I was walking, I was able to notice the varying shades of greens and oranges of the leaves, the shadows on the mountains and the structures along the trail. It was beautiful. It was magical. I felt so lucky to be in the moment noticing my surroundings and not being angry with myself for having to walk. There are good running days and bad running days..but it's kind of like lemons and lemonade...it's all in what you make it.
My lesson....eat healthy..drink water and be kind to your body. My body is sacred and I have to listen to it, honor it and treat it with respect.
Why Listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I love my kids..I really do. I can't wait for vacation time. We can sleep in, see movies and not have to take them to their practices. It's chill time at our house. The first week of vacation was great. Our daughter came home from Boulder and were were all together once again. Then the, "What are we going to do today" starts kicking in. Where are we having lunch? Can we get our nails done? Can I wear your shirt? I don't want to see that movie. Can so and so sleep over? Can you take me here. Can you take me there? What am I? A bank? A bus stop? A chauffeur? (well that I know I'm that!!) All of a sudden my need for them to go back to school is STRONG. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I have come to realize that as good as the structure of the school year is for my kids..it is just as good for me. I don't work well with idle time for days in a row. It doesn't mean that I don't like to hang with my kids..I do...I really do..I seem to get a brain fart around holiday and summer and don't make some plans for them and myself ahead of time. Needless to say as my internal alarm clock sounded off this morning and I was getting the boys off to school.... I WAS IN HOG HEAVEN!!
Sh*t. I gotta go get the boys to do their homework. Did I say I liked the school schedule?!?!?!?!
Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,
Wolffie
Hi.My last entry was eight days ago. Several times in this past week my head and fingers wanted to write, but my heart tugged at me to stay in the moment. I am glad I listened to my heart. This was a busy week with a lot of meaningful days.For one, my birthday. I have been on this earth for 49 years and I have learned to celebrate my life with gusto. My demons of getting older have been laid to rest. I relish every wrinkle and accept with as much dignity and humor my muffin tops and my lack of a youthful body. I suppose that there is apart of me that loves the extra layer that keeps me warmer in the winter and out of a bikini in the summer. I could go full force and become an exercise junkie..but then I wouldn't be able to fit in all the dining with my girlfriends, running to the point of glee rather than exhaustion, working to get my my wardrobe consulting business off the ground, staying in touch with my daughter, hanging with my hubby, taking my boys to and fro and of course my writing. Not a bad way to live. I am filled with busy days with people that I adore and love and who adore and love me!!! Yipeee.My hubby had a birthday this past week as well. His twin brother came to town and we had a great day. His kids surprised us the next day. So, we had days filled with family, which I love. There is nothing like being around family when it works. My kids love their cousins and vice versa. Age doesn't matter as they love to hang and be crazy. I got a bit overwhelmed at times with the crazy part..but they seemed to get it and settled down for a minute or two so I would get off their backs and proceed to have the crazies again!!! The three year anniversary of my daddy's passing was this past week as well. This date looms over me all the days of December. How will I feel? What should I feel? This year we all went to the cemetery. I cried like a baby. My kids hugged me and my hubby let me feel the feelings of sadness. Something happened to me as I walked away from his resting place. I let go. My life has to move on. I can't be stuck in sadness. I have felt so afraid to let go. Maybe it was guilt, not fear. I am not sure how to label this one. All I know is that I didn't want to let go of my sadness because if I did then my dad would be gone. Poof. Absurd Wolffie. I think the suddenness of his death didn't give me time to prepare for the loss of him in my life, my moms life and my kids life. Are we ever ready to lose someone we hold so dearly? I don't think so. All I do know is that I am ready to look into the future and not dwell on the past. New Year's Eve signifies reflection and partying at the same time. How does one do that? Whoo Hoo, I ate too much chocolate buts lets get down to Justine Timberlake? Lets Partay likes it 1999. Lets eat too much...drink too much and deal with it tomorrow. My feelings on the matter is..Why eat and drink more cause the scale is gonna tell you that you just added couple to the 5 you already want to lose? So, I eat normal and drink my water and diet coke and if I am really gonna go for it, I might have an iced tea so I can stay up until 12:00!!!Last night was special. We went to our friends Wendi and Brian's. It wast just them and our boys. We had every intention of eating, playing some board games and being at home by 10:00 to beat the intoxicated drivers. Best laid plans. We ate a yummy meal, laughed our heads off, rang in the east coast New Year (9:00 pm our time), laughed some more, played Apples to Apples, laughed some more, rang in the actual New Year, laughed some more, and came home. It was the perfect way to ring in the new year. It was filled with love, laughter, light, and a promise for a good year to come. I wish this for all of you...love, laughter, light and a promise for a good year to come..oh yeah lets throw in some good health too!!! May we all be who we are meant to be.Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I was introduced to a new game on my IPhone, Words With Friends. It is like playing Scrabble. I am currently and playing with six people. You play one on one and it is ADDICTING. I tell myself that it is good for my brain (which it is I am sure!). Who am I kidding? I want to win!! So far that hasn't been the case. My pals come up with words I have never heard of and they are worth mega points. My kids laugh at me. They want to play my games and like any good mother would do...I say...NO WAY IT'S MY GAME!!!! What if they miss out on a killer word? What if they make it so my opponent gets a killer word? What if Wolffie? It's only a game...right? I am laughing at me right now!! My hubby is halfway between wringing my neck and thrilled because I can't chide him about his Crackberry addiction. Maybe I should start a Words With Friends 12 step program. I am powerless over Words With Friends and my life is unmanageable.....wait...before I do....is there anyone out there who has an IPhone who wants to play?!?Can you relate? More will be revealed. Please come back for more.Signing off until we meet again.In Love and Peace,Wolffie
