Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Entry One Hundred and Twenty-Two... When I Am Gone

Hi. I didn't have any idea what I was going to blog about today when i booted up my computer. I wanted to keep my commitment to myself to write at least once a week. When I did turn on my computer, my AOL news said that Elizabeth Taylor had passed away. Wow. What an icon. Not only is she beautiful and talented but a great friend and a humanitarian to boot. Need I say a romantic at heart? We all lived through her romances and enjoyed her movies. She spoke up about HIV/AIDS when few would publicly AND she helped to start AMFAR. Her voice led others to fight the fight and she is a hero in my book. Her legacy will live on in those who thrived because of her commitment to finding a cure for HIV/AIDS. Her beauty will live on in her movies.

When I am gone, will there be something that I will be remembered for? I am not talking about Mother Theresa or Princess Diana realm..but is there something? Just thinking about this makes me want to be a better person. The Hubby and College Studette will remember when I got cancer. That was a day that stopped time. The boys were too young to remember, but they got aftermath of it. They got my menopause mood swings and the fear and triumph of being a survivor. I hope they got that when adversity comes into your life, you can push through and get to the other side with dignity, faith and love.

Will I have brought laughter to those around me. I sure know as hell that my family will remember my impatience and yelling...but will they remember how we laughed? Laughter is the key to getting through anything. Humor can turn your mood around for sure.

Did I show my passion to others? Equality for all, finding a cure for cancer and helping green our planet. Did I show those around me that you can't turn a blind eye and if you want to be safe then you have to help others be safe too?

I feel a bit like I am preaching. I am still here on this I have work to do. I don't aspire to be the next Elizabeth Taylor..I just want my family and friends to feel like I am around even when I am gone. Is that too much to ask for?

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. On a much lighter note, I was having a iced tea with College Studette and two of her friends yesterday. They are all home for Spring break. I love when they are around. It warms my heart and my estrogen feels like I got a huge boost. They are so happy and free. Anyways, we were talking about texting. This is how they do it:

"I can't hang out with you today because you bug me. Haha"

What's up with the Haha?!? That Haha says to me that it's okay to say a not so nice thing as long as I have a "Haha" it will lesson the blow and seriousness of the not so nice statement.. I don't get it. Do I tell my The Hubby that...

"Our checking account is overdrawn and the bank is threatening to close the account. Haha"? (not a real scenario mind you!). I don't think so!!!!

The girls and I had a huge belly laugh over the Haha. We made up funny scenarios and cracked ourselves up. The reality is that this generation doesn't think like me. They don't have the eye to eye uncomfortable conversations that I had when I was 21. I didn't break up by text message. (they didn't either..but it has been done!) My kids don't know from in your face conflict. They can IM, Text, Email their feelings and not deal with how it immediately affects the person on the other side. I try to explain that it is better to do things in person. I feel like when I am speaking they are TOTALLY tuning me out. Oh well. It's the times ...right? Bummer.

Can you relate? More will be revealed.

Signing off until we meet again. Please come back for more.

In Love and Peace,


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