Day One Hundred and Eleven....All Grown Up

Hi. Today was a day that will go down in my record book as...IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?!?

It was a business as usual summer day. Soccer Stud 1 and Running Stud had summer school. I dropped them off at 6:30, went for a 2 mile stroll around the lake, got a mani and pedi, came home to Running Stud 2 and a friend playing that g-d awful Call Of Duty and then it was time for my new job to begin. I have a Taxi service called, "will you schelp me here and there and everywhere all afternoon and all night long?" It's a great service fro those who hop in my car..it's free for them. It's $3.04 a gallon for me. I am losing money big time BUT like a taxi driver, I hear it all. Today was especially interesting.....

The subjects were about hot girls, soccer, hot girls, drugs, hot girls, test scores, hot girls, me being an airhead and getting lost, hot girls, drugs. OMG...these are my boys and their friends!! How did this happen? They are all grown up!!!! Here I was driving and listening to them talk about girls, who was doing drugs and I was clutching the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were white. I was dying on the inside but very calm and collected on the outside. I have to have a poker face. I even laughed because some of it was funny...weird but funny. They were asking questions about mushrooms (not the ones you put in a salad!!), LSD, cocaine and there was sexual innuendos. Can I say this again....OMG, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? When did they grow up? I still feel like a kid, so how can we be here? I answered their questions with frankness, I mean if they are asking I shouldn't lie...right? The good news is that they were disgusted about the drugs...YEAH!!! They think it is stupid to trip on schrooms and acid. Thank G-d because they are 14. They said they know kids who have done all this stuff. Can I say it again....OMG. My boys are all grown up.. or at least they think they are. It seems like yesterday when I was changing billions of diapers and they were farting and burping. I rolled my eyes over that!! They still burp and fart, but now we are in a new hemisphere and I am not ready!! Tough shit Wolffie....the time has come and Wolffie has to deal. I did and I will continue to deal..but OMG!!!

The ride has started. My seat belt is strapped on and I have to be prepared for the roller coaster ride of high school. I made it through College Studette, so I know I will get through the twins and right behind them is Soccer Stud 2. All I can say is, thank g-d they talk to me and talk so candidly in front of me. Thank g-d for hair dye. I feel like I just inherited a new batch of grey!!!

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. The other night I was out to lunch with The Hubby and my three boys. College Studette was out with her boyfriend. Usually I am the: uptight, please behave always trying to keep the guys in tow mom. For some reason this lunch didn't go that way. When I stop trying to be teacher and listen to my guys banter (The Hubby included), they are really funny. Running Stud always has a funny story to tell. "Got a fun fact for you. You know that I have an awesome six pack...right? So, at school the other day I pulled down my shorts way low and lifted up my shirt so someone would notice and comment on my awesomeness. I waited and waited. NOTHING." With a glimmer in his eyes and bowing his head down low he says: "Their loss." To say that we all cracked up would be an understatement. I couldn't stop laughing..all of us were practically peeing in our pants. It felt great to feel so free. It felt great to not scold. It felt great to be apart of. It felt great to have my boy feel confident. It was a day in the life of my family that I was glad to be apart of.

Can you relate? More will be revealed.

Signing off until we meet again. Please come back for more.

In Love and Peace,

Wolffie

Day One Hundred and Seven: When Is It Ok To Expect Something?

Hi. My dad always told me that it is never good to place expectations on people. You will always be let down. Sounds cynical, doesn't it? I used to get really mad at him when he said that. Wasn't he hearing me? People were hurting my FEELINGS.

This is where I went wrong when I went to him with a broken heart or if I was really really mad. "Daddy, so and so did (you fill in the scenario) to me. I would NEVER do that ." There was his opening..."If you put what you would do on someone else then you will be let down." And damn it...he was right.

What's someone to do with that information? Suck it up and become tougher? Have no friends and live a lonely existence? I couldn't do it then. I can't do it today. It's not in my make-up. So, how did and do I navigate when something happens that I am not happy about?

Well back then in the dark ages, I sulked and I felt like a victim. Poor Wolffie, why don't people understand me.?Whine, sniffle, whine sniffle. That's what I did. I had no other choice, I didn't have the understanding back then that being disappointed was okay. My dad was right., You can't place your expectations and morals on another person. It's HOW we choose to deal with disappointments that is the empowering part.

So, I have someone in my life, not a good friend (no worries gal pals!!), who I feel is stepping over the line of what I can take. I am not mad, maybe slightly annoyed, but I don't want to partake in the bullsh*t anymore. I fight with myself. Am I being a beotch? Should I keep making the phone calls to organize the carpool? The adult who doesn't have time for this says... NO WAY. The part of me who wants to help her out with driving her kid says I have to suck it up. Well...I have come to the place now where I am done. I am not a babysitter. I can't keep organizing her life as well as my own. Sh*t I have four kids (five if you include the hubby) and a dog to take care of. She was supposed to get back to me on the new summer schedule. Didn't. So, here we are on her day to drive and she hasn't called me....again. Not gonna call her!! My day has to change so I can drive my Soccer Stud 1 to practice. I am a bit miffed...because...IF IT WERE ME, I would have called her...oops there goes my expectations!!! I am going to call her..not to organize. I will call her with a mature attitude and no anger in my voice to inform her that I will be taking my Soccer Stud 1 to practices on both days. I will thank her for driving Soccer Stud 1 and tell her how much I appreciated being in the carpool with her.. End of story. No drama. It's gonna be hard. I just want to be calm and centered. I'll let you know how this all works out!!

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. OMG. I don't even attempt to understand how my teenage boys minds work. Last night all six of us were having dinner as a family. It was GREAT!!! Now that College Studette is home and we were not at a sporting event of one of the Soccer Studs or Running Stud, we could actually have dinner all together at a reasonable hour. The hubby made a yummy summer dinner of grilled fish, mozzarella basil and tomato with a drizzle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar and quinoa. We were having light conversation and laughing. I only had to tell two of the boys to stop eating with their fingers a couple of times. There was no bickering and that in itself is a miracle. Anyways, Soccer Stud 2 starts telling us a story (prompted by Running Stud) about how he pooped in the side yard multiple times (for a few weeks running). I just want to remind you of my boys ages...almost 13, 14 and 14). I was laughing and saying TMI TMI" (for those of you who don't know text and kid speak...that is TOO MUCH INFORMATION!) Does this stop Soccer Stud 2 from going on with the details of his pooping event? Nope. He proceeds to say that he pooped on the side yard because he wanted to see how long it would stay there until a animal ate it. Before I tell you the punch line..we don't live in the woods. We live in Suburbia. Okay we might have an occasional coyote..but how long until an animal eats it? PALEEZZE!!!! It didn't take long mind you because our lovely dog Kona, also a boy of 8, ate it in a flash!!! BOYS...I DON"T UNDERSTAND THEM.....BUT I SURE DO LOVE THEM!!!!! Did I mention that the other boys were in on the poop experiment as well?!? Welcome to my life.

Moral of the story? I don't always have to understand my boys..I just have to laugh.

Can you relate? More will be revealed.

Signing off until we meet again. Please come back for more.

In Love and Peace,

Wolffie