Entry One Hundred and Seventeen.....Stand Up

I went to a Story Telling Salon evening last night with a friend. The premise is to tell a personal story in front of an audience. Sounds easy. I am a writer, a good story teller amongst my friends and I am outgoing. Seems like good traits for getting up there..right?!? I watched 9 people get up and tell their stories; ranging from retirement to partying in the 70's. I laughed and I cried. I left there thinking ...could I do this? On my way home I started telling a story out loud..to myself...it was hard. I mumbled and I fumbled. Why so hard? Well for me I think it because when I put pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard..my words flow (most of the time). I don't think about what I am trying to say. A bit organic. I had to recall quickly the details I wanted to say and I bored myself !! It's hard. I had a new found respect for those chaps who got up and told what seemed to effortless stories. I think I am gonna try getting up and telling a story. I will have to write it down and read it for my first time. It doesn't seem as exposing as looking out into the audience. I won't see their reactions to a life event that I had and want to share for humor and maybe a little bit of relate ability. In the end, I just want to feel connected. Is that so wrong?

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I am gazing at my vision board for 2011 and I must admit it is a far cry from my 2010 one. All that was on my mind was turning 50 and how I wanted to enter into my new decade. 2010 was all about health, being a sexy ,mama and achieving some spiritual growth. Did I achieve any of that? Well....i f'd up my knee in January of 2010...so I put on some pounds...okay 15 of them. I have to say I didn't feel like a sexy Mama. My friend passed and I lost a bit of my wanting to grow spiritually...I chose to be in bed and wallow in my sadness. By December of 2010..December 23 to be exact...I had a light bulb going off in my head moment and it was this simple.....Snap out of it!!! I turned 50 on December 24. I was feeling pleased to have racked up another year of being cancer free (10 years to be exact), I had "the hubby" who loves me, I had four great kids who love me (except when they don't !) and a circle of friends who are just the best. I am blessed.

So Gandhi I am not. Rachel Welsh I am not. Twiggy I am not....BUT so far in this 2011 year....I am feeling better on the inside so I can be better to the outside world. I am open to wherever my path takes me without trying to micro manage my spiritual path, and I am feeling the creative juices again. Feeling fine.

Moral of the story: If I get out of my own way and just live in the moment...I am right where I am supposed to be.

Can you relate? More will be revealed.

Signing off until we meet again. Please come back for more.

In Love and Peace

Wolffie