Day One Hundred and Thirty-four..Be Careful What You Wish For!!!

Hi.  It's quiet in the house.  This is rare.  The Hubby took the boys on a  short Vacay and Graduate Studette is house sitting for a couple of days.  I had to stay home to work..which is fine because I thought it would be nice to chill in my home by myself for a couple of days.  Graduate Studette just left with her friend after we ordered in a gluten free pizza and a salad.  I was digging the idea of the gluten free pizza because my new food kick is to stay off wheat.  I ordered  a Pizza Margarita..and I was looking so forward to it.  The pizza was REALLY small.  So I ask you in blog peeps....why do they charge 16 bucks for a pizza that is smaller than a small and they call it a medium?!? I mean really!!! I was still hungry after eating the 16 buck pizza and the 12 buck salad.... that I ate a non gluten free roll..with butter!!! OY. Let me get back to my first point....I always think I will enjoy some down time when  mi familia is not around. Our house is full of life and so much noise. Do I dare say this out loud....I miss the craziness .  My dog even seems a bit doggie depressed without the boys around!!!   When I am in the thick of my day, I wish for silence sometimes.  Wouldn't you if it was a constant barrage of asking me to buy them something, take them somewhere, teasing me, teasing each other, major farting and burping and always going to the market because they are always eating us out of house and home (truth is The Hubby goes to the market more than me). Do you get where I am coming from?  I feel like I am a hamster on that damn wheel and I can't get off!!!!!! So, who wouldn't want some alone time? Who wouldn't want a bit of peace? I am bored.  I don't feel like knitting.  I don't feel like reading.  I don't feel like shopping.  I kinda want mi familia around. You don't always know what you are missing...until you miss it.

Moral of the story...be careful what you wish for.

Why listen to Wolffie?  Because I get it.  Earlier today when I was still enamored with the fact that I was alone for a few days...I got to meet two dear friends for coffee at a restaurant right on the beach.  It was a beautiful day and the beach was so much cooler than the hot valley. Anyways, we were yacking, laughing and catching up on each others lives.  One of my gal pals was in from out of town so it was nice to see her face to face.  I feel so blessed to have friendships that just pick up where we left off.  Anyways, the point I want to touch on is aging.  I can't count how many times we were in a conversation and something just clicked for us to be talking about something else and we couldn't navigate back to the original conversation because our menopausal brains can't go from one topic to another!! I mean really, what is happening to us?  Is this the way our lives are gonna be forever?  Are we going to only do one conversation at a time?  Do we pick topics and stick to them?  BORING!!!!  Maybe I should have a pen and paper on hand at all times so I can jot down key words to jog my memory. HMMMMMM...not a bad idea!! The one thing my gal pals and I have is laughter.  If  we can't laugh about this phase of our development...we are screwed... I mean really screwed!! Shit..I was going to say something about our morning..but I forgot!! Where is my pen and paper when I need it?!?

Can you relate?  More will be revealed.

Signing off until we meet again.  Please come back for more.

In Love and Peace,

Wolffie

One Hundred and Thirty-Three...And So On and So On

Hi. Life is in full session at my  humble abode.  My College Studette is a graduate from University of Colorado at Boulder.  Go Buffs!! So her new name is......Graduate Studette!!! I am so proud of her. My twins...Soceer One Stud and Running Stud got their drivers licenses!!! Oy....actually they are great drivers and my life is way less hectic.....except that I do get a bit ruffled in my knickers until I know they are home safe and sound.  I gotta say I love that they have to be in by 11:00..it's the law my darling Studs!!! Sometimes you gotta love the law!! Soccer Stud Two culminated from middle school.  I have three testosterone boys in high school.  How did this happen?!? Time does fly...and with time flying..my hair seems to be getting more gray, so today I went way blonde to hide the gray and to hide the wrinkles that just "appeared" overnight!! Could it be that I have more on my plate than I need?!?  I mean lets face it...having teenagers is a full time job of navigating them into to safe waters, trying not to take their "you soooooo are annoying  me" tone when I ask them to clean up the man-cave, do the dishes, stop bickering, clean your room, go get a job.....and so on and so on. I am pooped just thinking about and writing this!!!  I have to say that I am fortunate to have The Hubby support me most of the time.  I have to admit that sometimes I feel a bit left out in the cold because he can act like a teenager too!!! Having Graduate Studette back home is a HUGE lift to my spirits because she gets me....all the estrogen parts of me.  She gets that I cry at commercials.  She gets that sometimes I look in the mirror and feel like I am not me...and the next day I look in the mirror and I am back to me!! Oh the joys of women bonding!!!! I will say that these past few months have been filled with joyous celebrations.  I love mi familia and even though I am in the eye of the testosterone storm...I wouldn't trade my life.  My heart is warm and full and joy surrounds me.

Why listen to Wolffie?  Because I get it.  Tomorrow is Fathers's Day.  I miss my daddy.  This year it is not as painful as years past and I am not sure why.  I do know that I want to celebrate The Hubby tomorrow. He is a fabulous dad.  Our kids love him so..you can see it in their eyes.  They think he is a kick and he is.  He is his own true self...a bit quirky and really fun spirited.  That's why I fell in love with him.  He beats to his own drum and his passion for life is so infectious.  He is a family man first and I both love and respect him for that.  My daddy was a family man too.  "They" say that a girl marries a man that is like her dad.  I married a man that is kinda like my dad.  My dad LOVED my mom and I feel that in my guy. He truly loves me. My dad LOVED his kids..and I see and feel that in my guy.  I think this year I am not so sad about Father's Day because I am focusing on The Hubby.  I feel blessed that my kids cherish their dad.  I feel blessed that we still love each other and parent our kids together. So, tomorrow I will celebrate that I loved my daddy and because of him...I fell in love with my guy. Happy Father's Day Daddy. I love you.  Happy Father's Day Hubby.  I cherish you.

Can you relate? More will be revealed.

Signing off until we meet again.  Please come back for more.

In Love and Peace,

Wolffie

One Hundred and Thirty-Two....I Love You Says It All

Hi. I woke up from a dream today that seemed so real that it sent me into tears. My friend passed away 1 year and ten months ago...today. I think of her daily and I really miss her. All that knew her feel the same way. She had a quality that not too may people possess. She made you feel like you were a special beyond words and she made you feel safe. She was a diamond in the ruff.

In this dream, we were laughing and talking and driving. I swear to you g-d that it felt real. When I bolted up from this dream, it took me awhile to get my bearings and slowly I realized that this was not reality... only a beautiful dream. A couple hours later as I am writing this, tears are still swelling and I truly feel blessed to miss someone so much.

I am not a dream analyst but I think this dream was powerful. I get so caught up in the minutia of my day to day life that sometimes I don't understand the power of friends and family. I take for granted the love I feel for The Hubby and my four kids, family and my friends. I don't always take the time to look in their eyes and say "I love you". Sure, I say 'Love you" at the end of a phone call or I shout "Love Ya" as the kids are jamming out of the car to get to class or wherever they are off to. I mean it. It's just not heartfelt. There's nothing like someone looking you in the eye.....and saying to your soul..a meaningful I love you. It warms my soul when it is done to me. I mean really, how long does it take to do this act of kindness to those you appreciate?!? Three seconds tops!!!!

So after my rambling on, the point I want to make to myself (and you who are reading my ramble) is that after all is said and done....family and friendships are the cat's meow. It's great to be a success at your job, acing an A on a test, running a sub 5 in a race, scoring the winning goal, going to a outdoor concert in the snow,finding the jeans you were coveting and getting them on sale....oh yeah these are all great things.....BUT.......do these make you feel safe? Do these things make you feel complete? Do these things make your heart melt? Okay, so getting the jeans on sale is a biggie!!!! What truly makes me smile is when I can see love in the eyes of those that hold a special place in my heart.

So, my dear friend Betty. I honor you today. Dreaming with you meant the world to me. Loving you was easy in life and still is since you have passed. I must never lose sight of the importance of laughter and what joy it brings to relationships. I must never lose sight of the importance of taking time to look into the eyes of those I cherish. I must never lose sight of time. I must take each day and open my heart to the possibilities it brings to me and what I can do for others.

Moral of the dream? Take time to laugh...and let others know you love and care for them to the depths of their souls.

Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. My dad died 5 years ago. We had a nice relationship. It took some time to cultivate. He was stubborn and so was I. But we found our groove. It was a simple relationship as far as our words. We did have in depth conversations from time to time but mostly it was simple and profound...but easy. He lived a couple of hours away.so we did talk on the phone..short and sweet conversations. I always ended saying I love you and he said...me too. On the day he died, we had a great conversation. He was cheerful and telling me how happy he was. He was talking about a photograph that was taken of him with my brother and nephew. He felt like a model!! He was going on and on and I had to abruptly get off the phone. Later that evening, I phoned my parents at the exact time he died. Weird, Huh? I didn't leave a message when the recording came on. I didn't leave a I love you. I don't remember if I said I love you in our last conversation earlier in the day. It haunts me.

Moral of this story? Just say it....just do it.....show those you love that they mean the world to you....always...cause you just don't know when the last time is. celebrate love!!!

Can you relate?More will be revealed.

Signing off until we meet again. Please come back for more.

In Love and Peace,

Wolffie