Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Day Ninety-Seven...What Was I Going To Say?!?


I was having a birthday breakfast for my gal pal today and I got inspired to write about a topic that we were talking about. I can't remember what the topic was.. It seemed so perfect at the time. I know I should have jotted down a word or two so it could jar my memory, but I just don't want to admit that I can't remember sh*t. Until now. It's now in the open....I can't remember sh*t. It's not really that big of a deal because none of my friends can remember anything either!! I often will have to stop my conversation in mid sentence because I don't remember what I was talking about. OMG, WTF!!! Can I blame it on too much information going into my brain that I can't process it quick enough. I find myself having a conversation while I am on the Internet checking my email and who can do that at the same time? It's kind of like chewing gum,patting your head and trying to rub your tummy in a circular motion all at the same time. I can't do that, can you? So what makes me think that I can talk and read at the same time. My kids get ANNOYED with me because I don't always seem to be paying attention to their questions because I am into this game on my IPhone, Words With Friends. It's awesome. It's kind of like scrabble and you play it with one other person who has an IPhone. Back and forth..I thought it would be good for my memory issues because I have to think of words and try to score the highest points. So far I don't have much of a memory and I don't win too much...I am not strategic enough to get the points BUT my words rock. My kids think I am tuning them out on purpose. Not true. I am just absorbed in the game!! I am absorbed in the moment!! Not cool though..I have to stop..and listen to them. I am getting better. I now have to work on not tuning out the hubby when I am doing my IPhone stuff.

Can I blame my memory loss on menopause? Why not? Lack of hormones can make your thoughts fuzzy, cranky and slow. I am trying to take supplements that can help with all of this. It's too soon to see if they are working..but something is better than nothing.

I think what we all need to do is take time. I rush around from thing to thing and often I don't give myself chill time. My brain must be screaming, "If you don't give me a rest Wolffie, then I am gonna force you to be still". Have you noticed when you do forget your train of thought, your kids name, where you put your keys and sunglasses... you must STOP... PAUSE and CHILL? Even if it's for a split second..we have to give our minds a break so we can regroup and remember what the heck we forgot.

Moral of the Story: Ummmmm, I forgot what I was talking about. Kidding!! In order to chill we have to be still.

Why Listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I have found that if I don't make lists of things that must get done for the next day before I put my head on my eyes bolt open at 2:00 in the morning and many thoughts start to rapidly enter my brain. This screws me up for a peaceful blissful sleep. Sleep eludes me and I start to have a volleyball conversation with myself. "Don't think" "You have to make a hair appointment for the boys". Don't think". "You have to make sure it's on a Tuesday". "DON"T THINK". "You have to do it soon because they can't see:" All the while I am tossing and turning. "Breathe..Meditate..DO SOMETHING TO RELAX". It's not working!! I start to get annoyed. I get out of my ever so comfy bed and go to the bathroom. I plop back into bed and try to calm my mind down. It's not working. I turn on the Tellie so the noise can get in the way of my thoughts. It works but I the noise wakes up the hubby from his snoring slumber. I usually fall asleep by 5:30 and then in a blink of an eye it's time to get up and start my day. Bummer. The thought occurred to me after a few years of interrupted bliss that I should keep paper and pen by my nightstand to write all of the rumblings that go on in my head. Great idea, right? Now I just have to remember to do it!!!

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