Hi. I am in a dilemma of the way superficial kind. I have been wanting to grow my hair out (again). There's something about long hair in women that I find sexy. Don't get me wrong...I love short hair. I feel funky. If I do say so myself, it is flattering to my facial structure...BUT.... I am approaching my big 50 in a few months and I am feeling the need to feel youthful and sexy. Who for?!? I mean if I am to be honest, I wear torn T-shirts and flannel Jammie's to bed. Not too sexy. The hubby doesn't chide me with my ever so not sexy look. I think I just want to look youthful. Lord knows I don't feel youthful. I didn't have bladder issues when I was in my 20's. I didn't have lines along my lips so my lipstick bleeds in my 30's. I didn't have saggy boobs in my 40's. Well, that's not entirely true, I had radiation in one breast after my cancer..so one is plump and one is falling down!!! The point I am trying to make here is, I have no control of getting older. I know that I have to pee a lot more. No biggie. I can put all the moisturizer I want on my lips and the lines don't fade and the bleeding occurs. I have masked it though cuz I wear stains now!! As far as my boobies are concerned.....I've got fab bras!!!!
I don't mind getting older in life experience, but I just want to LOOK YOUTHFUL. I surely don't want to go back in time and relive my youth. I do like where I am, who I've become and where I am headed. I guess the moral of this babbling story is ...Just Be.
So, I am going to cancel my hair appointment.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. I have been getting up every morning at 5:30 to read, write and meditate. Oh how calming and sane this all sounds. Right? I end my mediation and prayer with asking for patience with my kids..blah blah blah. Yesterday, we were a bit late getting out the door for summer school.. It's hard to get to 2 14 year old teenage studs out the door and that way too early hour. We managed to get to the shuttle just in the nick of time when Running Stud reports he doesn't have his bus pass. Was I calm? Did I take a deep breath? NO. I threatened him with him not going to summer school. Yeah right Wolffie, there was no way to follow through on that!! I went home, got his pass, drove him to school all the while saying please respect my time. please be responsible. I swear to you that I could hear his mind thinking...WAW WAW WAW WAW WAW!!!
Moral of this story: breathe, mediatate more, continue your early morning practices. and understand that he is just a teenager.
Can you relate? More will be revealed.
Signing off until we meet again. PLease come back for more.
In Love and Peace,