Oh it's Sunday. I did not go to any soccer games. I went to a funeral instead. It is tough seeing the people who were so much apart of your growing up leave this earth. It's tough to watch my mom. She looks so sad, Her circle of friends and family is getting smaller by the year and so much must be going through her head. The loss of my dad, the loss of family, and friends, and the glare of your own mortality staring at you in the face. I know how I felt when my mortality was challenged when I went through cancer. I wasn't ready. Are we ever ready until we are faced with it head on? I do know that life is for the living. So I guess we must all live each day to the fullest.
My brother, sister in law and I went to Neiman's for lunch. There is nothing like a popover and a stroll to the Chanel boutique. I did a quick "walk-by" to see how my Caviar tote was doing. It looks a bit lonely. I am thinking that it wants to put it's shoulder strap on my arm. But it ain't happening. A dream is a dream. Our lunch was leisurely. We don't get to spend that kind of time too often with our hectic schedules. So, the day be it sad, brought us together. We tested perfumes, looked in some shops and bought nothing!!!
Being that is is brrrr in Southern Cal (high today of 68 degrees and getting down to 50 degree...brisk for us!!!), I am making my butternut squash soup. It's a comfort staple food in our house. I want to just hang with my boys, call my daughter and have a nice chat. Days like today make me want to hibernate with my family and appreciate them. I hope that they don't bicker...I want love today..not the feeling of wanting to wring their cute necks!!!!
Why Listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. My kids are gone for about 6-7 hours a day during school. I have my time to exercise, do errands, have lunch with my girlfriends, and have alone time. Everyday I look forward to picking up my kids. "Hi guys, how was your day?", I ask with excitement and true yearning. They all start to talk at once, interrupt each other and make snide remarks about the other's day. As I am listening to them , my head feels like it is going to explode. I often have to tell them to "BE QUIET and tell me one at a time. " (sometimes i say something a bit meaner..not fit for print :( )!! "Why do you always have to bicker? "Be nice to your brother? "How would you like it if somebody said that about you?" I go into shut down mode, turn the music loud and day dream about pulling my car to the side of the road so they could all walk home. To date, I haven't done it, but I have wanted to many a time!!!
Then it dawned on me. I should ask them one at a time about their day. "What was the best part about your day?" The mood and vibe of the car changed. I enjoy their tales of the day. I want to hear more, not run away. They want to share their day in a good light. Duh!!! After all these years of mothering, I am still learning and navigating. If I am open to change, then change comes. If I am shut down, my like is negative.
Right now as we speak, the day is not going as I intended. They all strolled in a while ago as I am writing this. They are bickering. Where are their little necks to wring.? I start to engage and then I stop myself.
Calgon, take me away? Not going to happen..I think I'll just breathe.
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back fro more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,