Sunday, October 11, 2009
Day Thirty-Three..Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
I put on a brave face as my daughter went back to school a few minutes ago. As I hugged her tight I whispered, "I am not going to cry this time." Her response, "Me either". So here I sit at my keyboard barely able to see through my tears. I have such mixed emotions whenever she leaves. As I said before, it feels like apart of me is missing when she is gone. I know that being away is allowing her to grow up on her own without me in the wings giving her a nudge or opinion she doesn't always ask for. Why does it hurt so much when she leaves? It is bittersweet for sure. I am thankful that she is happy at college. It's not that I want to control her every move. I miss any signs of female energy around the house. I am surrounded by 3 boys (four if you count my hubby!!) and a male dog. It's testosterone city! I miss her smile, her giggle, our hanging out and her sweet soul. I miss that she tells me I look great or even when she tells me. "Maybe you should not wear that" or "You have too much blush on". She asks for my opinion about her appearance and really wants to know my answer!! My boys ask with a I am only doing this to provoke you tone of voice, i.e. "Is it okay to wear jeans to the bar-mitzvah (knowing it is a dressy attire)?' I can tell you what I don't miss: her trail of clothes, purse, socks, pajama's, and half empty cups of water located throughout the house! She gets into my make-up and wants to wear my clothes and jewelry. She even wanted to take my pearls back to school!! I love ya sweetie..but ya aint taking my pearls!!! With a bit of humor, my tears are drying up and I can laugh at how she could get under my skin and run the show if I let her!!! Bon Voyage my sweet girl, see you at Thanksgiving!
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. Do you remember going to functions with your parents when you were younger? They would get on the dance floor and you would pray that they would just get off the dance floor and chit chat at their table. They were so embarrassing. I felt that about my parents. I think my hubby and I are becoming those embarrassing parents!! Let me tell you, if you want to have the bell of the ball at your party..invite me!! I am on the dance floor from start to finish. I LOVE to dance but I am not the best dancer. My friends have been teasing me for years about how I snap my fingers and sing to the music while I attempt to have rhythm. My daughter never seemed to mind when my hubby and I were on the bar and bat mitzvah circuit with her group of friends. She would dance with us and she still does when she is with us. (like last night). My boys on the other hand like to stay clear of us. Sometimes we find them and dance extra crazy just to embarrass them. I will tell you their friends think we are cool, so all is not lost. When I hear the music it takes me to a place of bliss. Sometimes it's songs from my past and sometimes it is current stuff..whatever the song, I just have to get up and shake my bootie. I know that this embarrassment is just a phase in their teenage lives. When I got a bit older, I would find my dad and get him to dance a father/daughter dance with me (the best memories). When the MC of the night asks the crowd to join in on the mother/son dance, my boys come find me and we all dance arm and arm. I am in heaven!! They love me. My boys really love me!!!
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,