Friday, October 9, 2009
Day Thirty-One...Set Them Free
I never really understood the job of a parent until my daughter went away to school. Sure I know that it was and is my job to teach all of my kids right from wrong: don't pick your nose in public, don't pee in public (actually happened), treat others as you want to be treated. I am not discounting how my younger boys are. They are great boys. All the stuff that drives me crazy about them right now is totally normal "stuff" that teenagers go through.
My daughter came home from college for the weekend last night. She is a sophomore in college We hung out together all day. Being with her today and observing her has made me see how she is growing up to be one hell of a young woman. Her thoughts about life are so spot on. The hardest thing about having her away is letting her go. Does that make sense? I am so used to having her around, we do a lot together. We shop (of course), watch all the juicy TV shows,go to see all the chick flicks and hang out in bed and eat frozen yogurt, all the while laughing and bickering (sometimes) She is my female yin yang.
When she is at school, I get phone calls when she is on the way to class, tells me when she finds a great frozen yogurt place, gives me a heads up on our shows. I can't wait for those calls. I feel lonely without my sidekick. I am so proud of who she is becoming that it makes the longing okay. Can me and my hubby take the credit? Wasn't it "us" who taught her how to be her? I don't think we can take the credit. We were just her guides..It was her who spread her wings and flew.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. When my daughter was 3 years old, we were driving in the car. I had just picked her up from pre-school. Out of nowhere she asked, "Mommy do you believe in God?" I said "Yes honey I do?" "Where does he live mommy?" "Up above the clouds where the rainbows live." "Oh." She was silent for awhile and she said with such softness, "I am soooo glad I picked you to be my mommy." "Me too sweetie, me too". After all these years, I can say with complete conviction.... I am honored to be her mommy. I think I am the one who got lucky.