Today is a day filled with many emotions. When I woke up this morning, I had a heavy heart remembering that eight years ago, the Twin Towers fell. Our country changed forever that day. I always say a little prayer for those who lost their lives and also for the families who lost somebody dear to them.
Then I reflect on what that very day meant to me and my family. It was the last day of a long journey back to what I thought was to be business as usual. It was my last round of chemo. I was so conflicted, should I go or should I stay home. As much as I was scared to leave the comfort of the San Fernando Valley, I went to Santa Monica for my treatment. Who knew if Los Angeles would be hit.?
I sat there that day, crying for those who perished and crying for me because of relief that my treatments were over. Guilt. Elation. I felt nauseous from emotion, not medication.
Here I sit, eight years later writing a blog!!!!! My mom called me today to honor this milestone. My daughter called me to chat and also posted a message on Face Book: "another year cancer free for you, mommy! i am lucky to have you here and safe and appreciate you more every single day. i love you to the rainbows and back
Then my husband took me to Neiman Marcus for a fancy lunch and bought me pink converse tennies!!!
How lucky am I? How often do I take these relationships for granted? Why does it take a monumental milestone to make me realize the gifts I have? Hmmmmmmmmmm. It's not that on other days I am not grateful for my life. I am. Sometimes I guess I need a nudge to open my eyes a little wider. Today was a nudge.
On a happy note, I always buy myself something pink to celebrate this day...my life. This year it was a pink thong from lululemon!!! (as a sidebar, if you are an exerciser..the undies are made from a quick dry material so the sweat doesn't linger..so no bacteria and smell free!!!!).
I am now going to hang with my boys, try to be patient, and not get involved in their bickering which is happening right now as I write!!
Today's Mantra: "For today, I will zip my lips"!
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. One of the most defining movies for me was When Harry Met Sally. Do you remember the restaurant seen when Sally orders her meal and makes all the substitutions!!! That one scene gave me FREEDOM. My friends and family always tease me because I don't think I have ever ordered anything off a menu without a change!! When I was pregnant with my daughter we were at this chic restaurant in New York (we were living there at the time). All I wanted was a side of asparagus. It was my craving for that week. They had it on the menu, but the chef wouldn't give it to me as a side dish. Can you believe that? All i can say is you should never mess with a pregnant woman and her cravings!! Who won that night? Meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!Fast forward to 19 years later. I still order what I crave. Why should today be anything different? Sooooo, thanks to the fabulous customer service at Neiman Marcus, the chef and I both won!!!
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,