Sometimes I just don't want to act like an adult. Have you ever been forced to put things behind you, cry and move on? That's is what I am doing today. It really hurts. I have to let go of a friendship which I thought was going to be forever. I hurt her feelings without realizing it. I tried to talk and explain, but to no avail. She doesn't want me in her life. What is one do to? Beg? I can't. I am willing to own my mistake and work on being a better friend. I can't force her to change her mind and heart. So, I will cherish what we had and move on. There comes a point when I have to accept that things are not always going to stay the same.
A lot is changing now. Within my family too. My kids are growing up. My nieces and nephews are adults. My dad is no longer with us. My mom has a man in her life. My life is changing. Some of it is for the better and some of it is just different. Do I wallow.? I want to but I can't. I have learned to accept what I feel, honor it and try to make sense of the changes. Sometimes the change opens up avenues that I never thought were going to be in my life. So, I am moving on. My stomach aches and my heart hurts. Aches go away and hurt heals. On the other side is gratitude and overflowing love. I am looking forward to the other side!
I have to say that I escaped today. My beautiful friend Heleana gave me succulents to plant in my pots. So I bought some soil and planted. When it comes to plants, the only thing I don't kill is succulents and cactus. The front of my home looks nice and welcoming with my new plants.
I went to Costco yesterday and bought thin felt hangers. I changed out my old ones and decided that all my family needed them too!! So, I bought 7 boxes today and changed out all the closets in the house. It felt good to not think and our closets look neat and tidy!! I have to admit that my kids were still using the toddler hangers. It was about time that I did the change. It couldn't of happened on a better day.
Why listen to Wolffie? Because I get it. Sometimes I just can't be funny. When my hubby and I lived in New York, it was always hard saying goodbye to my family and friends when we would come home for a visit. I would hug my parents so tight, I did not want to let go. I would cry on the flight back to my New York. It would take me a couple of day to regroup and not feel homesick. When they came to see us in New York, I would do the same thing when they left. Now, all these years later, I have the same thing going on when I leave my daughter at college. I hold her so tight, I don't want to let go. We both cry, I force myself to break away. I cry all the way home. When she comes for a visit, I do the same thing. It takes a few days to regroup. How lucky am I that I have these relationships that make me miss them.? It makes me realize the depth of my love. With tears come enlightenment.
Can you relate?
More will be revealed. Please come back for more.
Signing off until we meet again.
In Love and Peace,